Showing posts from 2017

Why you will be hearing about my Spartan for a long time.

First and foremost it was the most physically and emotionally brutal thing I have ever done. My feet were not ready and by mile 6 of the Super I was done. Completely done. I knew I had completed over two thirds of the race at this point and was still at the point of not caring anymore. In the middle of the woods on some trail with stumps and roots and rocks and mud and ditches and a team waiting on me I yelled out… “@#$# this race, @#$# a Spartan, @#$@ a Trifecta, I am DONE!” Then I realized the only way to actually be done would be to get to the end. There was no rescue team, there were no flares to send up, it was me and my own strength to get me to the next obstacle. I made it there completely beaten, feeling like a failure as I had for the last 3 miles, and a team mate asked me what was wrong.. the response to my whine was a snark, which was deserved. Here I was at mile whatever it was, almost 8 by this point I think, on the last 6 obstacles of 28 and I was still a fai


I feel like I completely and utterly failed today. I knew going in that I was going to lolly gag around because hello 8 to 10 miles in less than 48 hours from now on a foot that isn't 100%.  What I didn't think was that it would be so damn hard!  Ten minutes in I couldn't breathe. Huffing and a puffing. It was completely stupid.  I have felt better after 30 burpees than I did tackling that dune today.  Some where I found the fortitude to keep going. It is that same grit and determination I am going to need to find for this weekend so I hope the well doesn't run dry before noon on Sunday. I don't know what I was thinking signing up for this thing... no wait TWO of this thing! Nervousness could have played a role in today's nonperformance, with each step this morning I thought "How in the world am I going to to make it up the side of a mountain! I can't get up this stupid dune without crawling." Then HELLO IT HITS ME well on the way home it did.


It's Spartan Week! I have been training for this sucker for months now. MONTHS. I don't train for anything.. ever.. so this is kinda new to me. I am ready as I am going to be short of the run part. That I will just deal with that the best I can or walk it. I start I finish that is all that matters. :) I am taking it easy on my foot this week, I want it the best that it can be for this event. That is what is important to me right now. No more weights, no more sit ups, no more tire tosses are going to improve any of this weekends performance. The only thing that can possibly help now is getting my feet to a good place. I did a silly silly thing last night I spent some time looking at the Spartan obstacles and honestly I scared myself. I don't really know if I can pull this off.  I think the part that is worrying me a bit is I did train for this. I did prepare my body for the harshness of heavy lifting and worked the technique of spear throwing, worked out a plan for t

4 years later...

Hi there. It's been awhile. It really hasn't but it has. The other day this blog popped up in my memories on Facebook. A link to a happier time, a glimpse into my life when my world was not so broken and shattered. I realized I needed to read my own thoughts on the days, weeks and months leading up to Deanna's accident. There is a wealth of knowledge from a girl who was struggling to gain her footing in a world of athletic friends with the newly acquired ocean breezes flowing through her windows. A girl who had an eating plan down and managed to drop 40lbs with very little pain. A girl who had a lot of life and fight in her. Then it happened ... it all shattered into a million pieces in the blink of an eye. Four years, two months and six days later here I am, back to a place I started over, trying to start over. In those four years I have struggled and fought to just keep struggling. I wrote, not here, over here . Which is a different wor