I will admit the below image is exactly what the ENTIRE team looked like right after Adam said "Ok I got it, are you ready for this... (pause)... CLOWNFISH ON THREE!" It was really quite funny as there was a pause and Adam starts counting and we all yelled CLOWNFISH? (Notice the question mark). I had this thought in my head immediately"is he making fun of us. Do I really look THAT silly running down the beach or road or maybe I look like a clown while trying to do sit ups or squats or dive into the ocean (no comments Amanda!!)" Then I realized I probably really do, but at the time I did not realize that Nemo and his dad Marlin were in fact Clownfish and after a parking lot google session with Kendall and Brooke (I think it was Brooke) it was quickly realized they were and I was ok with that. I mean seriously why not embrace my inner 6 year old and love me some Clownfish. Let's look at it this way, Nemo got a bit lost out there in the big huge Ocean righ
My heart talks to me in a Dory voice, my brain doesn't.. my brain sounds more like Nemo's dad Marlin. My brain is always grumbling and telling me I can't or I will never be good enough or it hurts way too bad or I am fat or .. there are so many OR's that it is not even funny. Very much like Marlin in the movie, everything was always gloom and doom. My heart says just keep swimming, swimming, swimming or running, running, running or BREATHING BREATHING BREATHING. Whatever the occasion calls for. (recently at bootcamp it has required all of those and then some). My heart wants so badly to be more than I am, to not be the one in the back, to not be the one the rest of the team is constantly waiting on in push up position, to not be the one who's foot feels like glass just split the bottom of it open again and tries to get off of the shells... cont. Side Bar on Foot: it hasn't split open just truly felt that way, the only way I can describe what my foot f
First and foremost it was the most physically and emotionally brutal thing I have ever done. My feet were not ready and by mile 6 of the Super I was done. Completely done. I knew I had completed over two thirds of the race at this point and was still at the point of not caring anymore. In the middle of the woods on some trail with stumps and roots and rocks and mud and ditches and a team waiting on me I yelled out… “@#$# this race, @#$# a Spartan, @#$@ a Trifecta, I am DONE!” Then I realized the only way to actually be done would be to get to the end. There was no rescue team, there were no flares to send up, it was me and my own strength to get me to the next obstacle. I made it there completely beaten, feeling like a failure as I had for the last 3 miles, and a team mate asked me what was wrong.. the response to my whine was a snark, which was deserved. Here I was at mile whatever it was, almost 8 by this point I think, on the last 6 obstacles of 28 and I was still a fai
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