No today was not the day I was actually born, but today was the day last year that I decided to take control back of my life and my health.
I was slightly waylaid on my journey during 2012 and even though I had gotten to myself to a point I could "give back" AND continue on my own path as well, the simple truth is since my pulled muscle and pushing through the half and then ending up on my ass for weeks, I fell way behind where I was. So while at the end of the summer I could wear two hats, I just can't right now without training down, because I am the one that needs this encourager now to push me back to where I was in September. Believe me, you have no idea how hard it is for me to leave anyone behind me, I was that in the back girl (no I am not far in front of end now but you get my point) and it is now so hard for me to not turn around, to not go back, to not hand hold because that is what I wanted when I was back there. So to whoever is back there, PLEASE KNOW that I am up there cheering you on, pulling for you, encouraging you with everything in me, I just won't be back there pulling you anymore. Not until I am where I am need to be anyway.
What I need to do for MY journey right now is put in double the work, double the effort, attack my journey with relentless determination and encourage you by example and not with hand holding. The truth is I WANT to hold your hand, I want to be the one with the kind words, because that is what I wanted.. but I didn't have that. I didn't get this far because any of my coaches ever held my hand (Well Amanda did when I got my shots after trying to rot my foot off running the my first half marathon). What they did, was they SHOWED me the path to take and it was on me to take it.
So to all of you out there that look to me for those encouraging words and thoughts, I still have them and I still will be here for you ALWAYS but for right now, for right this minute, I won't be running beside you the whole time. I am going to hit this with amazing determination so that in 2014 I CAN hold your hand the whole time if that is what it takes to get you to your goals, but right now its about mine.
Much Love and Happy New Year, Happy Birthday to ME!
Ps as a "birthday" gift it seemed so fitting to renew my Knuckle Up contract for 6 more months!